Note to self:
Self, do not go buy groceries on a Saturday. Especially do not go buy groceries on a Saturday when that Saturday happens to fall before a holiday. At best your trip will consist of an angry, over weight, unhappily married, soccer mom driving an ugly sand colored mini-van blaring her horn at you because she’s cranky and rude. Inside the store you’ll find hundreds of unhappy middle aged Americans who are also rude and feel they are better than you and will therefore NOT create any room for you to maneuver your cart through the isle; merely they’ll look at you and go back to perusing the jellies (grape, raspberry, seedless, sugar-free, reduced sugar, organic, preserves… effin move already!!!!).
Hmph!!!! I now have a glass of wine in my hand; I’ll be better soon.